Sam: "So what are these things supposed to be? Orcs? And this is one of those nerd dressing-up things?"
Kevin: "They're not orcs! They're the Darkling Spawn of Neklith! Why does everyone keep on calling them orcs?" 2000 AD prog 1825.
Kevin: "Wait! Come back! Don't you want to hear the rest of my backstory? Right. That's it... Yes, flee! You will not escape my wrath!" 2000 AD prog 1826.
Kevin (holding up signs): "REMEMBER ME? NO?! :( WELL YOU SHOULD DO! BECAUSE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!" 2000 AD Sci-Fi Special, 2015.
Sam: "More cake, Kev? I made it specially for you."
Rufus: "You're right, Kev mate. Nickelback really are a seriously misunderstood musical tour de force!"
Simon: "Here's all my rarest special edition Star Wars figures, Kev. You're right — it's much better when you take 'em out their original packaging!" 2000 AD prog 1978.
Simon: "Kev's amazing! He's my best friend!" 2000 AD prog 1979.
Dark Lord: "THEY STILL LIVE! WHY? MAKE THEM SUFFER! THEY MUST PAY FOR OUR YEARS OF HUMILIATION!"
Kevin: "I will! It's just... well... they like me! This must be what having friends is like..." 2000 AD prog 1980.
Sam: "Some D&D dweeb who set himself up in his own fantasy dimension as the poundshop Sauron." 2000 AD prog 1981.