Things said by or about Judge Joseph Dredd

John Wagner: "Pat always wanted Dredd to be the hero. I saw him as partly the hero, but more so the villain. That was the original conception of Dredd — that he shouldn't be a nice guy, that he shouldn't be a hero. Some things he does will be heroic, but overall — no." Thrill-Power Overload by David Bishop.

Unnamed criminal: "I hope it's Judge Dredd you blast, Whitey — he's the toughest of the Judges!" First mention of Judge Dredd in 2000 AD prog 2.

'Grand Judge': "Sometimes I think we're all going to die like Alvin, Dredd."

Dredd: "Maybe, but in my book, that's the only way to go... in defence of the law!" 2000 AD prog 2.

Dredd: "The law can show mercy, too!" 2000 AD, prog 3.

Dredd: "When will lawbreakers learn... in the 21st century — no one can escape justice!" 2000 AD, prog 3.

Child: "Why does the Judge never smile, ma?"

Mother: "It's his job, child, it's tough upholding the law in Mega-City One!" 2000 AD, prog 6.

Dredd: "Yes, lawbreaker Krilz! I ordered the walk-eezee to be put in reverse! Something that must never happen to the law!" 2000 AD, prog 8. (NB: if there is ever a prize for the most unintentionally silly thing Judge Dredd has ever said, this quote would be a strong contender.)

Criminal: "I'll get 40 years for this. Reduce my sentence, Dredd, and I'll tell you where you can find our leader Mr Buzzz! He's holed up in a cheap hotel in oldtown—"

Dredd: "Many thanks. In recognition of your co-operation I sentence you to 39 years, 364 days in an isolation cube!" 2000 AD prog 22.

Dredd: "I am the law and you'd better believe it!" 2000 AD prog 40.

Dredd: "The penalty for littering is six months' penal servitude. Merry Christmas, citizen." 2000 AD prog 44.

Dredd: "Sometimes war is necessary — but don't ever let creeps like this tell you it's fun. War is pointless. War is evil. WAR IS HELL!" 2000 AD prog 51.

Dredd (thinking): "Mega-City 1... 800 million people and every one of them a potential criminal. The most violent, evil city on earth... but, God help me, I love it." 2000 AD prog 59.

Dredd (thinking): "I see it all now. After the war, with the government gone, there was nothing to stop the big burger chains' lust for complete control. They grew more and more powerful, until their hamburger war turned violent." 2000 AD prog 71.

Judge Fear: "Gaze into the FACE OF FEAR!"

Narrator: "For a moment the icy chill of terror courses down Dredd's spine. The shock of this gaze can kill an ordinary man — but Dredd is a Judge — and Judges are not ordinary men!"

Dredd: "GAZE INTO THE FIST OF DREDD!" 2000 AD prog 227.

Dredd (affected by 'block mania'): "I'm with Rowdy Yates block! Who you fighting with?" 2000 AD prog 244.

Dredd: "Chief Judge Griffin, I find you guilty of treason. The sentence is DEATH." 2000 AD prog 261.

Dredd: "Drokk! The rad-beast's been sucked into the fancy dress parade!" 2000 AD prog 297.

Dredd (infected by alien parasite): "I'm... going to have... a baby!" 2000 AD prog 313.

Citizen: "B-b-but we're innocent, Judge!"

Dredd: "Nobody's innocent, citizen. We're just here to determine the level of your guilt." 2000 AD prog 338.

Dredd: "What Justice dept giveth, Justice dept can just as easily taketh away." 2000 AD prog 355.

Dredd: "Damned if I'll let some jumped-up spook kick us out of our own sector house! WE'RE the law in this city!" 2000 AD prog 361.

Psi-Judge Omar: Whatever's in there, Dredd — it's dangerous."

Dredd: "So am I." 2000 AD prog 363.

Med-Judge (injecting Dredd with multibiotic): "No alcohol for 36 hours, and lay off the romance for a week."

Dredd: "You trying to be funny?" 2000 AD prog 385.

Reinhart (psychiatrist): "You have just entered the Academy of Law. How do you feel?"

Dredd: "Strange... I'm with others, but I feel alone... confused... What am I doing here? Who am I?"

Reinhart: "Don't you know?"

Dredd: "All I know is... My name is Dredd. I am a cadet Judge. Before that... ...it's clouded..."

Reinhart: "Dig deep! Go back. Try to remember. What do you see?"

Dredd: "I'm... floating. It's warm — bubbling warm... friendly. I live here and... and..."

Reinhart: "And...?"

Dredd: "Nothing. There's nothing else." 2000 AD prog 389.

Reinhart: "You are eight. How do you feel now about your origins — about being a clone?"

Dredd: "At first I was... hurt. Then proud. To be of the same blood as Fargo, the father of justice — it was a great honour."

Reinhart: "Do you still feel pride?"

Dredd: "No. I am a cadet Judge. There must be no place in my life for petty self-congratulation."

Reinhart: "Do you enjoy being a cadet?"

Dredd: "Yes. It's my life — what I was cloned for. It's all there is." Ibid.

Reinhart: "You're twelve now. Your clone-brother Rico is also excelling at the Academy."

Dredd: "I'm glad he's doing well. There is a strong bond between us. We are one and the same. I must strive to overcome this feeling. Personal affections impair efficiency." Ibid.

Reinhart: "No matter how hard we try to control it, sooner or later the human being behind the mask always starts to come out. Even in a street-hard Judge like Dredd." Ibid.

Dredd: "All right, citizen. Get your clothes on — you're clean. Take my advice. Next time, don't look so shifty." 2000 AD prog 390.

Judge Benson: "You... killed a Judge to... to save a Judge-killer! It... ain't right..."

Dredd: "Gotta be right. It's the law." 2000 AD prog 392.

Dredd (thinking): "My city is destroyed — and without it, I have no reason for living!" 2000 AD prog 400.

Psi-Judge Anderson: "But you can't change the future! It's impossible!"

Dredd: "Yeah? Show me the rule book."

Anderson: "But, Dredd, we've been there! We've seen it! It's happened!"

Dredd: "Then I'll UNhappen it!" 2000 AD prog 406.

Dredd: "Any cadet that can put his mother away for eighteen has got the makings of a damned fine Judge." 2000 AD prog 421.

Bella Bagley: "I'll be everything you always wanted in a wife!"

Dredd: "Wife? Get off me, woman! Get this straight — I don't love you! I'll never love you! I am incapable of loving you! I'm a Judge and the only thing I love is the law — which right now you happen to be breaking!" 2000 AD prog 444.

Shojan: "Are you eager for death?"

Dredd: "I can take it or leave it." 2000 AD prog 452.

Dredd: "Twenty years on Titan. Was love worth that, Sladek?"

Sladek: "Oh, yes. It was worth it. That and more. But I guess that's something you'll never understand." 2000 AD prog 463.

Dredd: "I'm a Judge, loudmouth. Harassment's my job. Want some?" 2000 AD prog 483.

Edison: "You're not going to do it, Dredd? A Judge's life is worth more than some crummy hostages!"

Dredd: "We start thinking that way and we're not worth a damn thing, Edison. Our prime duty is to protect the citizens. If anybody shoots them, it's going to be me." 2000 AD prog 520.

Dredd: "Democracy is a cancer eating at the heart of our society. Any action we have to take to stamp it out — however regrettable — is justified." 2000 AD prog 532.

Judda: "Curse you, Dredd—!"

Dredd: "That's what they all say!" 2000 AD prog 558.

Mrs Deever: "It's this city, you know... pressing in on us all the time, trapping us... like rats in a cage. Driving us crazy! Never gave him a chance... never gave any of us a chance... It's our full mental jacket."

Dredd: "Yes, I know, citizen. I know." 2000 AD prog 582.

Dredd: "Wilbur Yess was a, uh, good citizen and, uh, a first rate trouser designer. I didn't know him personally but we, uh... we all wear his trousers. Mine seem to fit okay." 2000 AD prog 593.

Dredd: "In this city, pal, there are no good guys." 2000 AD prog 601.

Dredd: "Control, we have an attempted break-in, basement apartment, Rowdy Yates."

Control: "You're joking!"

Dredd: "I've got 'em on monitor now. Can you send a unit?"

Control: "What the heck for? Can't you deal with it?"

Dredd: "Negative. I'm in the bath." 2000 AD prog 626.

Narrator: "It felt too good just to lie back, soak the old bones, let some of the weariness slip away... This body... a patchwork of scars. Once he could recall where each one came from, but now... just too many... And there were the ones you couldn't see — the twists and sprains and fractures. A body that had been tortured, forced to the limit of its endurance too many times. Still a good machine but — getting on..." Ibid.

Dredd: "Lazarus Kohlrabi, for premeditated murder against the people of this city — my people — I hereby sentence you to death. Standard execution!" 2000 AD prog 630.

Pan-African Judge Kamun: "Sorry I had to betray you in this fashion but I doubt if you would have come otherwise. I hope you can forgive me."

Dredd: "Come a little closer, Kamun, and I'll forgive you with my boot. 2000 AD prog 863.

Dredd: "By the powers vested in me, I grant you mercy." 2000 AD prog 1419.

Dredd: "Nurse and childminder in attendance at the arrest."

Beeny: "They didn't like that either? Creep was eight months' [sic] pregnant — wouldn't you?"

Dredd: "Doubt it would have occurred to me. Sagar would probably have gone into labour in the catch wagon. You laugh — it's happened. At times you might say I lack a certain... sensitivity." Judge Dredd Megazine #300.

Carolyn Bachmann: "The man's got a mind like a clenched fist." 2000 AD prog 1807.

Narrator: "Think about the bigger picture — blocks full of bodies, anarchy in the streets, the city rotting down like a corpse left out for the dog vultures — and you might start to lose hope. Lose your focus. He'd seen forty-year men weeping openly in the squad room, unable to move. Not something he could condone — but he understood. The black pit, yawning beneath everything... The knowledge that the situation was no longer sustainable, that all that was left for his city was the slow, unstoppable decline... So don't think about it. Break it down. Smaller tasks. Little jobs. Cube this creep. Chase down that one. Wave that daystick. One job at a time." 2000 AD prog 1808.

Chief Judge Hershey: "We nearly suffered a coup because you didn't trust me, Dredd. I wouldn't call that a win at all." 2000 AD prog 1812.

Ticket droid: "I'm sorry, that is an invalid Justice Department zoom pass. But our records do indicate that you'd be eligible for a senior citizen discount! Apply at your nearest mega-zoom office. You have been fined one hundred and fifty credits. Have a great journey!" 2000 AD Sci-Fi Special 2014.

Judge Giant, Jnr.: "Dredd."

Dredd: "Mm."

Judge Giant, Jnr.: "There's a Klegg over there waving at you. Enthusiastically." 2000 AD prog 1888.

Indira Knight: "So you Judges are the police, the military, the judiciary and the government? How does that work?"

Dredd: "Efficiently." 2000 AD prog 1895.

Dredd: "I'm taking you in for questioning."

James Agar: "That a fact? What about?"

Dredd: "Information received."

Agar: "Oh yeah? What information?"

Dredd: "I'll let you know when I receive it." 2000 AD prog 1905.

Narrator: "He reacts to the Vipe onslaught with his own — automatic now after so many years. His hand a blur. Select target. Fire! Select target. Fire! Aim unerring. Twenty to one and he's got them outnumbered." 2000 AD prog 1908.

Judge Death: "We will EXXECUTE you and then your cccityy will be at our mercccy!"

Dredd: "You give me too much credit. You won't win, whether I'm there or not." 2000 AD prog 1917.

Dredd: "The crime is mass murder! The sentence is — corn mash!" *throws Judge Fire into aforementioned agricultural machine* 2000 AD prog 1919.

Dredd: "Drokk! It's raining mutant piranha!" 2000 AD prog 1923.